I've been thinking of my dad a lot lately....I guess with the Christmas Season in full swing and with my new little one (J) knowing he will never have memories of my dad .....he just has been on my mind so much the last few days.....
Dad died 5 years ago this past April. He had battled a rare type of cancer, Multiple Myeloma, and had become a shell of the man I knew growing up. His last few weeks were especially hard and painful, so much so that the doctors had to keep him VERY heavily sedated. He had known deep inside, I think, that he would not live much longer and I had several talks with him before this happened and he asked me to say my goodbyes early so that when the time would come for God to call him home I could praise God for the life my father had lived and for allowing me the time with him that I had had.....the early morning that dad died I did just that.....after I grieved for his loss.....I praised God for his wonderful mercies. During dad's funeral all that I could do was to silently praise HIM more. My dad had lived his life for God and the best part was I knew he was now singing for Christ eternally.
Memories......
My dad.......first and foremost is that he was a wonderful man of God. He loved the Lord with all his heart....his life was a living testimony to all to see how Christians can live in the world (and not be of the world). He was a simple man...not a lot of education, but had a wisdom that needed no book learning...... a life wisdom. He grew up very poor....the son of a preacher and had 10 brothers and sisters......as one of only 3 brothers he help to take care of the families needs with his father took ill. Leaving school at an early age he worked to help support his large family so that his sisters and younger brother could finish school. Never once did he look back.....something needed to be done and he could do it .....so he just did. That was the kind of man he was ........doing what needed to be done.
Secondly, he loved my mother intensely......oh, they had their quarrels like any couple and he may have not remembered every birthday but his love for her overflowed ......my fondest memories are of the two of them passing each other in the kitchen and him reaching up in passing to grab her and kiss her ....often if he knew that I was watching he would look at me and wink....something in that touched me so deeply....he was not afraid of showing his love for her in front of us children....the fact we grew up amongst such love in a world were husbands and wives often separate over trivial things was a blessing. I never once worried that my parents would divorce .....the love between them was such a strong bond that even in times of anger, stress, hardships , you know ....things that can wreck havoc on a marriage I was secure in the knowledge that they would always stand by one another to the end.
Thinking back on his life I know dad gave to everyone in his life.....he worked so hard to provide for us...no we were not rich in a worldly sense but the richness of his life still overflows in me today....his love for his fellow man was evident in his dealings whether in business or on a personal basis.....he gave of himself over one hundred percent in all he did.....his work ethic and habits often left him working alone because he pushed himself and his crew .....not harshly but with high expectations and often the men working for him found him “too dedicated” to the job being done as one man put it. His dedication to us, his family, often left him working long into the night to provide for us....I can remember many a morning seeing him sitting at the table drinking coffee and eating breakfast having come in only to shower, eat and return to work never sleeping ..... I remember mother fixing his dinner and taking it to him on a job site (dad was a construction contractor) to spend time with him while he ate.... Dad gave what he could to those in need (often we were in just as bad a situation as those he gave to) and I've heard him get up in the middle of the night to help someone (not just friends) in need. But this was just dad....always giving and always helping his fellow man.
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow....
Dad's life was a song for Christ. And now I pray daily that my own lifesong will sing each day a living testimony to the love I have for the ONE that set me free. I want to be a blessing to my family, to someone in need, to the stranger I may never meet......I want people to say at the end of my days that my life was a song of praise to God. .......What a legacy to leave my own children....a desire for their lives to sing to Christ and show the world His wonderful grace through their daily living.
Living for God in a song.....
I heard this song after my cousin died within four years of my dad with a similar cancer....he was 20 years old and had been married for 2 & ½ months.....his wife had this song played during the visitation.....
Lifesong
by Casting Crowns
Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight
May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You
Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet
So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You
Our lives are our own special melody in God's ears.....I want mine to be found pleasing.
